The first message from a first-timer is almost always the longest one I get that day. It arrives late in the evening, it apologises twice, and somewhere in the middle it says some version of “I have never done anything like this and I am not sure what I am supposed to ask.” I like those messages. They are honest, and honesty is the best possible start to a sensual massage.
So this note is for whoever is about to send one. What actually happens, what to say, what is welcome and what is not, written by the person on the other side of the door.
Is it normal to be nervous?
Completely. Most first-timers are, and it makes sense. As adults we are touched in two ways: clinically, by doctors and physios, or romantically, by partners. A sensual massage sits somewhere between the two, slow and attentive and warm without being either, and anything unfamiliar makes us a little stiff.
The nerves last about ten minutes. I can usually tell the moment they go: the breathing drops from the chest into the belly, the shoulders come down from the ears, the hands stop holding the edge of the table. You will not notice it happening. You will just notice, at some point, that you stopped thinking.
What to say when you book
Very little. A day, a rough time, sixty or ninety minutes, and the word “sensual”. Anything I should know: an injury, sensitive skin, a part of the body you would rather I left alone. A first name is all I keep.
You do not need to explain why you want it. Nobody is asked to justify wanting an hour of warmth.
Arriving
Come on time rather than early. Appointments are spaced so that guests never meet, which is part of the point, so the door opens at your time. You will have the door number with your confirmation; the building is residential, on Leinster Gardens in Bayswater, with no signage and no reception. Eight minutes from Bayswater or Queensway station, a quarter of an hour from Paddington.
Two minutes at the door
We sit for a moment. I ask what you are looking for, whether there is anything you would like more of or less of, and whether anything is sore. I tell you how the session will go, so that nothing is a surprise.
This is where the frame is set, and I will describe it the same way I describe it to everyone: I set the frame, and you set the pace inside it. The frame is respectful, unhurried and professional. Inside it, you are in charge of the tempo and of what you would rather avoid.
The shower
Offered to every guest, with warm towels, and almost everyone takes it. Partly for the obvious reason. Mostly because it works as a threshold: you step in carrying the street and the day, and you step out into a warm room with low light and nothing left to do.
Undressing
To your comfort level, with me out of the room. Some guests keep underwear on, many do not, and a towel is always there. It makes no difference to the massage.
And since it is the question people are most shy about: nobody is looking at your body critically. I see bodies all day. The only thing I notice is where they are holding on, the jaw, the hands, the space between the shoulder blades, and where they finally let go.
What the touch is like
Light, warm and slow. Slower than you expect a massage can be. The oil is already warm. I start on the back, with long strokes from the shoulders down to the feet and back up, and stay there until your breathing changes. Then you turn, and the front gets the same unhurried attention: legs, arms, hands, décolleté, the scalp.
The whole body is included, and nothing is rushed towards. The pressure stays light because pressure is not the point here. The point is the feeling itself, the warmth, the slowness, the sense of being completely attended to. It is meant to be felt, and there is no need for either of us to pretend otherwise.
Your body may react, and that is fine
This is the worry most first-timers never write down, so I will. A body that is touched slowly and warmly for an hour will sometimes respond as bodies do. Goosebumps, a deeper breath, warmth, arousal. It is ordinary. It is never remarked on. It does not change the shape of the session, and there is nothing you need to do about it.
The etiquette, briefly
It is short, and it is mostly about making the hour better for you.
- Shower first. Or take the one that is offered.
- No alcohol beforehand. It dulls exactly the thing you are paying to feel.
- Say what you like, out loud. “Slower”, “more of that”, “less there” are all welcome. I am attentive, but I am not a mind reader.
- Let me lead the touch. A sensual massage is something you receive. You do not have to do anything, give anything back or perform anything; guests sometimes feel they should, and they really should not.
- Phone off. The hour is short enough already.
- “Stop” works both ways. Either of us can pause or change what is happening, without discussion and without offence.
What is not on offer
I would rather say this here than at the door. This is a massage: slow, warm, close and genuinely sensual, and still a massage. If you are looking for something beyond that, this is not the room for it, and no hard feelings. The guests who come back are the ones who wanted exactly what it is.
Sixty or ninety minutes for the first time?
Ninety, if you can. On a first visit the first half hour goes on arriving: getting used to the room, the quiet, the idea of lying still while someone takes their time. The deepest part comes after the hour mark, which is the same thing I wrote about in the last fifteen minutes. Sixty is still a full session; ninety is the one regulars book.
It costs £120 for sixty minutes and £170 for ninety, the same as a Swedish massage. Cash, card or transfer, nothing added at the end, no tipping.
Afterwards
The close is slow, never sudden. Time to come back to yourself, a glass of water, no rush to the door. Most guests leave quieter than they arrived.
If you can, do not go straight back to a screen. Kensington Gardens is a few minutes’ walk down Leinster Terrace, and a slow loop past the Italian Gardens is the best possible ending to the hour.
If you are still deciding
Read what a sensual massage is, and what it is not first if you have not. If the honest answer is that you want your back fixed, book deep tissue instead; if you want warmth rather than pressure, this is the one.
Then send the long, apologetic message. I will reply myself, usually within minutes, and the hour will be entirely yours.