Every week someone messages to book and then, a few minutes later, sends a second message that starts with “Sorry, stupid question, but…”. It is never a stupid question. Here are the ones I get most, answered the way I would answer them at the door.
Do I get undressed?
To the level you are comfortable with. Most guests undress fully for a full body massage and keep underwear on for a back-only session; both are completely normal, and I have genuinely no preference. I leave the room while you undress and settle under the towel. You are covered by that towel for the whole session apart from the area I am working on — a back, a leg, an arm at a time — and re-covered before I move on.
If you would rather keep something on that I would normally uncover, say so. Nothing about the massage depends on it.
What do I bring?
Nothing. Towels, fresh linen, warm oil and a shower are all here. Come straight from the office or the gym if you like; a shower before is welcome, and one after is there if you would rather not walk out into Paddington smelling faintly of sweet almond oil (most people, in fact, rather like it).
What happens when I arrive?
You come straight up — there is no reception, and the door is expecting you. We sit for a few minutes and talk about what hurts, what you do all day, how you sleep, and anything you would rather I avoided. That conversation shapes the session; nothing here runs on a routine.
Then I leave, you undress and lie face down under the towel on a warmed table, and I come back and begin.
How much pressure?
Whatever you want, and you decide it out loud. I start moderate and ask; you say “more”, “less” or “that’s it”. For deep tissue I build up gradually and check in as the work goes deeper. The rule is simple: strong is fine, sharp is not, and “less” is a complete sentence that never needs explaining.
Do I have to talk?
No. Some guests like to; most go quiet within ten minutes and stay that way. I do not make conversation unless you start it. The room is low-lit and quiet, and the hour is yours to be silent in.
What if I fall asleep, or something else happens?
If you fall asleep, good — it means the session is working, and I will wake you gently at the end. Bodies do all sorts of ordinary things when they finally relax: stomachs rumble, people twitch, breathing gets loud. None of it is remarked on, ever. This is a professional therapeutic massage, and everything that happens on the table is treated as exactly that.
What if something feels wrong?
Say so immediately — a spot that is sharp rather than sore, an oil that is irritating your skin, a position that is uncomfortable. I would far rather adjust than have you lie there enduring something. And if anything feels wrong the next day rather than simply tender, message me.
Do I tip?
No. There is no service charge, no card fee and no tipping expected. The price on the menu is the price.
Afterwards
Ten quiet minutes to come back to the room, a glass of water, no rush to the door. Drink more water than usual that day, keep training light for twenty-four hours if the work was deep, and — if you can arrange it — go home rather than back to a screen. The last fifteen minutes of a massage are where the rest happens; the hour after is where it settles.
Anything else, ask. There are no stupid questions, only ones people were too polite to send.